Team of the Decade

Since I have pretty much absolutely nothing else to think about besides football and McVities, and since I'm a fairly nostalgic fellow, I've spent the past few days mulling over the Team of the Decade. A number of my choices, or omissions, will be debatable but suffice to say I've made sure no Chelsea players feature.

Keeper

Oliver Kahn (Bayern Munich and Germany) - An absolute beast of a man. The fact that most people would choose a ponce like Gigi Buffon makes me sick. According to Raphael Honigstein's new book Englischer Fussball, Kahn's childhood hero was Scrooge McDuck. He saved up his pocket money to buy a cane and made his mum fill a bathtub with coins. Gigi probably spent his pocket money on Carlo Ventura shoes and threw temper tantrums when his mum over cooked his ravioli.

Anyway, as if this selection needed justification, from 2000 Kahn won the German league and cup double four times, a total of six league titles and a Champions League winners medal in addition to a runner up and third place spot at the World Cup in 2002 and 2006 respectively. It was at Japan/Korea in 2002 that Kahn really shone. He managed to keep five clean sheets and won the player of the tournament award despite being on the losing end of the final.

Right Back

Cafu (Roma, AC Milan and Brazil) - While certainly not one of the best defenders around, Cafu helped pioneer the attacking wing back position in the modern game. A tireless worker, his dedication is encapsulated by the fact that as a youth he was rejected by Corinthians, Palmerias, Santos and two other clubs before finally making Sao Paolo's youth team at the age of eighteen. Ten years later he captained Brazil to World Cup victory in Japan/Korea.

In his club career he helped Roma in 2001 win their first Ser

ie A title in eighteen years and at Milan he won another league title and a Champions League title.

Left Back

Roberto Carlos (Real Madrid, Fenerbahce and Brazil) - In addition to Cafu I've chosen another Brazilian wing back who couldn't defend for his life. But does any of that really matter when you can claim three La Liga titles, a Champions League title and World Cup medal over the past 10 years?

His pace down the wing and ferocious shots make him one of the memorable players of the decade and his thighs a sight to behold.

Centre Halves

Alessandro Nesta (Lazio, AC Milan and Italy) - Yeah, he looks a bit like a twat but Nesta was so good he made you kinda wish you could look like a twat too. Then maybe, just maybe, you'd be the classiest defender in the world. If a poll was taken on the most frequently bought defender for Championship Manager addicts I wouldn't be surprised to find Nesta as top choice. He's pretty much Rio Ferdinand without the missed drug tests and random lapses of concentration.

A league and cup double with Lazio, followed up with a league and Champions League title at Milan and a World Cup victory with Italy sum up his selection. While Cannavaro earned the plaudits for the 2006 victory, being a hero for one summer doesn't make up for being a mindless thug for nine and a half years.

Carlos Puyol (Barcelona and Spain) - Speaking of mindless thugs - being a blood pumping , chest thumping, Catalonia mindless thug for ten years will get you selected on the Team of the Decade. Sucks to be an eyetie mercenary.

Not the most technically gifted player to grace the Camp Nou, Puyol has been a rock for what is more often than not a shaky Barca back line. As captain he's guided them to three La Liga titles, a Copa del Ray and two Champions League victories.

Winning Euro 2008 without conceding a single goal in the knockout round only solidifies Puyol as one of the best defenders of his generation.

Right Midfield

Cristiano Ronaldo (Sporting Lisbon, Manchester United, Real Madrid and Portugal) - I never have and never will like Cristiano Ronaldo. As a United supporter I have to admit I enjoyed his goals and accomplishments during his stint at Old Trafford but his attitude and ego are abhorrent. Famously he once told a reporter that the three best players in the world were, "Ronaldo, Ronaldo and Ronaldo." And no, I don't think he's including Fat Ronaldo.

His play on the pitch, however, is absolutely devastating. While the other great right winger of the decade, another former United no. 7, David Beckham found his niche and slowly faded into it, Cristiano Ronaldo seems on a relentless campaign to improve his performances and to win more trophies, awards and plaudits.

There's little point mentioning his accomplishments. Watch him play and you'll immediately know this showboating, tantrum throwing, diving prat is

something very, very special.

Left Midfield

Ronaldinho (Gremio, Paris Saint-Germain, Barcelona, AC Milan and Brazil) - He could have been one of the greatest of all time. Unfortunately he liked a good party. Then again so have many of the best.

Like Ronaldo, he's won a bunch of trophies, none less than the World Cup, but it's his style and breathtaking talent that makes him one of the greatest players to step on the pitch in the last ten years. When he first hit the European scene at Paris Saint-Germain some of his moves were just absolutely mind boggling. He didn't look like he'd come from Brazil as much as from a completely different planet.

He's technically a forward, but he loves to make that run inside from the left wing so I've stuck him out there - free to roam wherever he wants.

Centre Midfielders

Zinedine Zidane (Juventus, Real Madrid and France) - Zizou. An absolute god. There's really nothing I can say that would do him justice.

I once lined up for seventeen hours in a failed attempt to get a ticket to see him play in Hong Kong with Madrid. I would have lined up for seventeen more if I'd actually gotten one.

Andrea Pirlo (AC Milan and Italy) - Yup, that's Pirlo hiding in the back - no homo. In fact not unlike his play on the pitch. As the man Italians called l'architetto (The Architect), Pirlo enjoyed building things up from behind - no homo.

In all seriousness he does have a pretty gay haircut.

Probably the most difficult pick on the Team of the Decade, Pirlo earns his spot for his incredible technical skill, vision, and long balls - no homo.

There's also the small matter of a Scudetto, two Champions League titles and a World Cup victory to boot.

Fowards

Thierry Henry (Arsenal, Barcelona a

nd France) - Va-va-voom. What more can you say?

Henry dominated the Premiership at the middle of the decade. He scored more than twenty goals a year from 2002 to 2006 and many of them with sheer brilliance. There's one goal, a backheel, that stands out. It encapsulates everything Henry brought to English football - daring, flair and class.

As if there were any contest he's also France's all time top goalscorer, won the Euro 2000 and thanks to last year's treble winning Barca side has won at every level of club competition.

Ronaldo (Inter Milan, Real Madrid, AC Milan, Corinthians and Brazil) - Yes, Fat Ronaldo. Its funny how people have been questioning his weight for the past eight years and he's still banging in goals.

Strangely enough, il fenomeno is the only player on this selection not to have won a Champions League medal. Granted if his career had not been so hampered by injuries he would probably have done so.

At any rate no matter how unfit he looked he always seemed to have that extra step on defenders. I will never forget his hat trick against Manchester United in the Champions League quarter finals of 2003. He scored every chance he had before being subbed off to a standing ovation from the Old Trafford faithful.

Manager

Sir Alex Ferguson (Manchester United) - Fergie's won five league titles and a Champions League title over the past ten years to add to the six league and one Champions League titles he won in the '90s. Most of those coming after he'd claimed he was going to retire!

Sure he's had a ton of money to spend - Rio, Veron, Rooney, and Berbatov for example - but its his ability to constantly rebuild the United team and retain a hunger for success that sets him apart from any other manager over the course of this decade. What other manager could lose top players like David Beckham, Ruud Van Nistelrooy, Jaap Stam, Cristiano Ronaldo and continue to rebuild winning teams? Wenger comes close but he's yet to rebuild Arsenal in the aftermath of the Invincibles. Just don't mention anything about them Djemba twins.